The day I broke your heart

Before that day, I kept going back and forth, thinking to myself:
What a fool, how much of a fool, how low, how really low could I go?
Will I be wrong?
Will I be right?
Am I just wasting my time?

After that day, sometimes late at night I still think of all the good memories I could've had should I never chose that path.
I remember your compassion and sincerity that once brought me up so high.
While me and myself always seemed to be so unsure and uptight.
But then I realized that it was me who pushed everything away.
Sometimes I wish I'd regret whatever choices I made back then.
But I don't.
Tell me, am I a bad person for not regretting stuffs?

Though maybe I am still just too much of a fool, you don't have to tell me about this one.
Things I did always left me thinking, always assuming, always filling my heart with pure uncertainty.
I curse myself sometimes for second-guessing all my decisions but now I think that's what all people do.
We second-guess stuffs even in our surest moments, we just get use to have ourselves believe in our decisions until one day the time will prevail whether we really did make the right turn.

Before you, I was never waiting for a miracle, never waiting for something to fill the hole.
But since that day, I feel like I keep on running and running trying to find something.
Whenever I stop to think, I don't even know what is that something that I am looking for.
Maybe it was never missing.
Maybe it was never meant to be found.

But somehow I know for sure that there was something dead in me on the day I broke your heart.
I am just never sure what.