What could've been, again

I did write a post called What could've been almost 2 years ago.
I remember it was a pathetic evening where I was waiting for my Covid test result, my throat was so itchy, and I was so anxious about having to spend quarantine in a remote site.
That night felt like a dream because I did not realize I would end up doing the work that I did, or that I would be where I was.
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Now that I think about it, I thought about What Could've Been multiple times in my life, but all with different perspectives.
However, it is not until recently that I realized that it was no use in thinking about it.

You know things like:
What if I picked another option at one point in my life? Would it make things better?
That question really triggers a lot of negative emotions despite its uselessness in actually making a change.
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It fascinates me the very concept of Tawakkal and why God rewards people who can perform it.
I used to think Tawakkal is simply about being patient,
but now I believe it was mainly about trusting His bigger plan, realizing how great of a planner He really is, for that He knows what we do not.
That He listens to things we do not hear, that His knowledge is not bound by time and space.

Humans are born impatient, I talked about this too.
Personally, I often summarize things right away, making a conclusion without knowing if that was actually the end of the chapter.
You know, I find it hard to describe the feeling, but it is like you think that something was bad for you only for you to realize it actually led to an amazing place you never thought you'd need to be.

I kinda feel embarrassed when I recall the time when I was nagging, complaining about why I got what I got, or why I made a not-good-enough decisions that led me to various types of regrets,
only to then realized those consequences eventually made me a person that the old me would be proud of.
Or vice versa.

Yeah so, after all the trials and errors, and the emotional and physical (??) rollercoaster, maybe the only thing I should do is to try, and to hope.
There will never be a guarantee that stuffs would turn out better should I go back and revise my options.

(Although honestly, this occasional nagging thing is so addicting tho)