Hi, it's me again

Hi! It's me!
I finally took my time to write something on my blog hehehe
A lot of things have happened to me for the past 1 year in a way I never really imagined
I am now someone's wife and I am pursuing a master's degree!!

Ok gimana ya mulai ceritanya
I think growing up I tend to keep my relationship private because I like it like that (up until now).
I never really thought I'd get married so young but life happens and we decided to get married with a promise that we'll support each other.
However, on top of my proposal, wedding preparation, etc, what I had prepared from way earlier was my master's degree!

We decided to cut the honeymoon short since I needed to learn GMAT and I was juggling here and there to work, study, and prepare for all the rigorous application processes.
I am so glad to see how it turned out so well.

Tbh, adapting to lots of new roles are not easy (it never was, to me).
I feel like all the physical and mental challenges are really making me strong in a way (but at what price?)
Maybe I am just stressed out right now since I am missing home so much. I miss the people, I miss the FOODS, and I miss being close to my loved ones.
It's kinda feel odd to me because at one point in my life this is what I wished for.
Yet, I, being a human that I am, feel this way.

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If you think this post is about the rainbow and butterflies about being married and living abroad, youve got to be disappointed because it is not.
I feel like in the realest way possible, I have a new knowledge that no matter how pretty you'd think some things are gonna be, it always comes with a price and sometimes you just dont like to pay for it.

Am I happy being in the Netherlands to study? Verrrry much
Do I miss home and long to be with my husband and family? Yes
Do I use every fiber of my being to commit with my plan? Yes
Am I doing it so that I wont regret the life I'm living? Very much

During the flight here, I was so frustrated because I missed home and everyone already, especially the thought of leaving my spouse back home.
However, in a way I am so grateful to have someone to miss this much.
Maybe it's the weather or the foods, but I know it's been a journey.

Before flying, I was watching this anime called Nana, about one's journey to achieve their dream.
But achieving dreams is just a thing, the journey matters more than you think.
And when I arrived in my apartment (where the view is so damn gorgeous) yet I was still anxious, I kinda resonated with the anime.
Oh so this is what the writer is trying to tell the audience. And I am glad I was trying to be mindful throughout the journey.
And now I've got to find a new support system and build a life in this new place cause I am high key interested to finally live a life I've dreamt of since forever :)

Ok guys enough frustration.
I promise (as a part of my 2023 resolution) that I'll write at least once a month here about my life and you all (if someone actually reads this blog) have a question about how I get into my school or the scholarship I got, please let me know since I am so, so willing to help you out with all that :)

Anyway, I am utterly grateful so please don't take this post the wrong way. lol.