Turning 23!

Hello!
I have this old habit on my previous blog where I always, always write a post on my birthday so that I'd have a record of how my life is going at that one point in my life hehehe.

This year is so rough for the whole world. I never imagined that I'd be a part of a historical event like this. So in the middle of this pandemic, the rest of the world should be staying at home unless it's for something very important.
Sometimes I wonder what I'd do after it's all over, but sometimes I don't even know if we would ever have a normal tomorrow, if you know what I mean.

To be honest, I was really on the edge of breaking down right before everybody was forced to stay at home.
I woke up everyday just waiting for the day to end. How lucky.
Aaand then there came the pandemic.
I didn't think I could handle it all at once because I'm just this small person and I needed a break.
I kinda felt relieved to have a reason to avoid everybody and have all time and spaces for myself.
However, I also feel sad that I should avoid everybody at the same time.

Despite all things going on, I realize that I am such a lucky person to be born in my family. It's not perfect but I am so loved. I don't think it's something to be taken for granted.
You know, now I realize that being loved doesn't always mean that you will only hear nice words, get all attentions, receive all things you want, and have all your wishes granted.
I feel like being loved is the feeling of knowing no matter how bad and weird things get, being with that person/people will make you feel safe and secure anyhow.
Conflicts and misunderstanding are inevitable, but when you're loved it just feels different.
And my thought goes to other kinds of relationship.
It's the one thing I learned the hard way: when your partner/friend really wants you, you will not have to spend a second wondering if they really do.
Your interactions feel effortless because IT IS effortless to be around them.
I am soo sure about this because I once felt being in the middle of both great and bad environments.

So please mind this guys if you're in a relationship, or even just between your friends: if this particular person keeps on playing hard to test your worth and also if you keep on wondering if they feel the same towards you, believe it or not but you really deserve better.
What's so great about them if they make you feel less worthy than you are, right?
Because when talking about someone who sincerely loves you, their eyes are like a mirror which reflects the more beautiful version of you.

One of my prayers for this birthday is that for this pandemic to end as soon as possible so that everything could return to normal.
Because even I always felt uncomfortable about it but I kinda miss the crowded Jakarta where everyone is busy doing their jobs here and there.
If there's anything I know is that this situation really taught us how to be grateful for all things we had once. All small things we might take for granted before like hanging out in a coffee shop, going to a music gig, or as simple as friendly high five and hugs. Now... isn't it sad to see that physically avoiding someone is considered as an act of love?

I hope we all could have a long and happy life so that we could witness the world returning back to the beautiful place it's once was.
If you're lucky enough to be able to hold on to your job, still get your full salary, stay in a safe place, eat nice foods, and sleep well, it wouldn't hurt to help other people who might not be as lucky as you by donating some of your possessions or as simple as just to stay at home and help flatten the curve.
If you're like me, a person who has no relevant skill to stop the virus from spreading, cure the patients, nor the power to contribute more than that, let's just do our part in this. The whole world is hurting and who knows maybe the worst is still yet to come.

However, I have to be grateful to spend this day with my family and even I learned how to bake my favorite cake aka Red Velvet!
They even threw me a little picnic birthday party in our backyard! Isn't that just the sweetest?
Also my friends.. Ah how lucky I am to have them in my life.

Cheers,
Suha!