My Two Cents: A tiny dot within the galaxy

I believe that we all ever fall down too many times that we are afraid to get up again at least one time in our lives.

It could be our failure to enter an institution, to build a relationship, to trust somebody, to get a job of our dream, to publish our writings, to find a recording label, or many other stuffs I cannot mention.

What can I say? Failing over and over again is not a comfortable feeling to experience anyway.

Is it wrong? Well I don’t know either.

I think it’s just a self defense mechanism that we unconsciously create to protect us from feeling even lower.

Talking from my limited experience, the feeling starts from ‘You know what? I know I should fail before I get to where I want though.’

Then when you keep on failing, you start thinking ‘Maybe I should take baby steps? Or no? I really want it but maybe it is not yet the time for something this big.’

Then you will keep on questioning whether or not you should compromise.

If you keep on not getting what you want, then you will start questioning your capability ‘Okay maybe I am just not good enough. Maybe it’s my average work ethic/my emotional trait/my tendency to be easily irritated. But I’ve worked my best.’

Then, God forbid, you keep on feeling lower as the time goes by so you will feel like you don’t deserve things.

For some people, they will start improving their selves and fixing the previously detected problem(s) in order to get to the place they want.

For some others (e.g: me, a couple of moments ago), they will just shut their selves from future opportunities and force themselves to believe that it’s for their own good.

Of course now I believe it’s not.

I cannot support insecurities and giving up. Those are negative state of minds we all shall not be proud of.

It is a kind of painful to fail, to not get what you’ve always wanted, to get disappointed continously, to feel lonely and not good enough even when you feel like you’ve done your best.

But those things are inevitable.

Today I woke up worried.

I was thinking to myself: what if I grow up becoming a bitter person? I do not want that to happen.

I am a sort of jealous to look at people who can always have a positive mind and strong belief that things are always going to be alright.

While I have made myself put all guards up with all these walls built around.

Each day I get to trust less, I love more shallowly, and else. Then it hit me:

I am good enough. We all are good enough.

We are capable to get to the place we want.

We can have a job we’ve always dreamt of, to have a loving friend we can count on, to master the skill we always want to have, even to love deeply all over again.

The first step is to get yourself out there back on track.

The rest will follow. Why do I believe so?

I guess because when we want something so, so deeply and we believe that we can get it, the universe will work hand in hand to lead us there. If what we want is actually ugly for us, let’s hope it will lead us to the best place possible. Now our job is to carefully listen to what it says.

Nothing is too big after all... for we are only a tiny dot within this galaxy.